
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin addresses a reader's concern regarding the inability to masturbate due to a medical condition that limits hand usage. The article outlines eight specific hands-free techniques, ranging from utilizing water pressure and specialized sex toys to physical methods like grinding and muscle control. These strategies are designed to help individuals explore their bodies and achieve orgasm without physical strain.
In this edition of the Sexual Resolution column, Vanessa Marin responds to a heartfelt question from a 23-year-old reader identified as "Tired Hands." The reader explains that a medical condition makes using their hands for extended periods difficult, which has prevented them from ever experiencing an orgasm.
I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to use my hands for extended periods of time. I've never had an orgasm before, but I would love to have one. I have tried masturbating before, but my hands get tired so quickly.
Vanessa begins by validating the reader's desire for pleasure, emphasizing that physical limitations shouldn't stop anyone from exploring their sexuality. She enthusiastically offers a variety of methods to make self-pleasure accessible and less physically taxing. 💖
One of the most accessible hands-free methods involves utilizing the bathroom environment. Vanessa suggests lying on your back in the bathtub and allowing water from the showerhead to fall directly onto the labia and clitoris. For those seeking stronger stimulation, the tub spout can provide increased pressure.
Additionally, for those who have access to luxury amenities, Jacuzzi jets offer a powerful alternative.
If you're lucky enough to have a Jacuzzi (or a bathtub with jets), scoot on over to the edge and position your clitoris in front of the jet.
However, she advises caution with high-powered jets and warns against aiming them directly into the vagina.
Vibrators can be excellent tools because the device does most of the work, but holding them can still be tiring. Vanessa recommends larger, sturdier devices like the Magic Wand, which are often easier to position without needing a tight grip. She suggests creative ways to hold these toys in place without using hands:
There are also vibrators designed specifically for hands-free use. Vanessa highlights several options:
For those who prefer not to use toys, "grinding" is a popular and effective technique. This involves placing an object between the legs and rocking the hips against it. People use various items for this, ranging from soft objects like pillows and blankets to harder objects like hairbrush handles. This can be done lying on the back or stomach, or even by grinding against the edge of a mattress.
Another powerful method is simply squeezing the legs together to induce an orgasm. This can be combined with pulsing the PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscles).
Your PC muscles drape across your pelvic region like a hammock and are highly connected to orgasm. To find these muscles, wait until the next time you're on the toilet. Start urinating, then try to cut off your flow of urine before you're done. The muscles you use to do this are your PC muscles.
Crossing the legs can also create pressure, especially when wearing jeans, as the seam can provide friction against the clitoris. Furthermore, flexibility permits another unique method: using your own foot. By sitting cross-legged, one can bring a heel up to rest against the clitoris and grind against it.
Finally, Vanessa suggests that while erotica or porn might not cause an orgasm on their own, they are excellent supplements to the physical techniques mentioned above. Watching a movie, reading a book, or listening to audio porn (like the site Quinn) can provide the extra visual or auditory stimulation needed to reach a climax faster.
You may even find that you're able to orgasm using your hands fast enough if you have that extra stimulation.
Exploring self-pleasure should be a joyful experience, regardless of physical ability. By creatively using water, positioning toys strategically, or utilizing body mechanics like grinding and muscle control, it is entirely possible to enjoy a fulfilling sex life without relying on hand endurance. These tips offer a pathway for anyone with mobility issues to safely and comfortably discover their own pleasure.
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