How to Try Edging, the Sex Technique That Takes Teasing to a Whole New Level

Edging is a sexual practice that involves intentionally delaying orgasm to heighten anticipation, resulting in a more intense release and deeper intimacy. By bringing oneself or a partner to the brink of climax and then backing off repeatedly, individuals can increase physiological arousal and mindfulness during sex. This guide outlines the benefits of this "ultimate tease" and offers a step-by-step approach to trying it safely and effectively.

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1. Understanding Edging and Its Benefits

Miley Cyrus once sang, "Ain't about how fast I get there," and while she wasn't explicitly singing about sex, the sentiment perfectly captures the essence of edging. While "quickies" have their place, the most powerful orgasms often come from a slow buildup. Edging is essentially turning that anticipation up to the maximum level.

Casey Tanner, a sex therapist, explains the core concept:

"Edging is intentionally delaying orgasm by bringing yourself or your partner to the edge of climax and then backing off before orgasm happens."

At first glance, this might sound agonizing or even cruel, but the goal is to ride the waves of pleasure multiple times before finally allowing the release. As the song suggests, the pleasure isn't just about the finish line—it's about the climb.

Why It Works

Think of edging as the ultimate tease. Just like planning a date night days in advance creates excitement, delayed gratification in the bedroom builds intensity. Dr. Jessica O'Reilly notes that dopamine, the brain's pleasure chemical, is actually higher when you are anticipating a reward than when you receive it.

Additionally, this technique helps you stay in the moment. When you are focused on navigating the sensation of almost climaxing, it is much harder to get distracted by insecurities or racing thoughts. It forces a level of mindfulness that grounds you in the present.

Physiologically, edging ensures you are maximally aroused. By taking your time, you increase blood flow and awaken more nerve endings throughout the body, priming you for a much bolder, bigger finale. For couples, it can also extend the duration of sex and create a spicy power dynamic where one partner controls when the other is "allowed" to finish.

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2. How to Start Edging Safely

Edging is a balancing act—you want to get close enough to feel the heat, but not so close that you accidentally finish. Because this requires knowing your body's signals well, experts recommend trying it solo first to learn exactly what your "point of no return" feels like.

Before involving a partner, consent is crucial. For some people, especially those with anxiety or past relationship trauma, the act of withdrawing pleasure can trigger negative emotions. If this happens, it doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong; it just might mean edging isn't the right fit for you.

If everyone is on board and comfortable, here is a step-by-step guide to the process:

Step 1: Start Your Engines

Begin by exploring whatever stimulation feels best for you or your partner, whether that involves a sex toy, hands, or other methods. The goal here is simply to get the body geared up and start the journey toward orgasm. 🏎️

Step 2: Tone It Down

This is the critical moment. Right before you hit the peak, you need to pull back. If you are with a partner, establish a safe word or signal beforehand so they know when to stop. You don't have to stop touching completely, as that might break the mood. Instead, try:

• Touching more gently or slowly.
• Lowering the setting on a vibrator.
• Shifting focus to a different body part (e.g., moving from the genitals to a sensual massage on the back or thighs).

Step 3: Crank It Back Up

Once you feel your arousal level dip slightly, or things have chilled out, you can start increasing the stimulation again. The duration of this break is up to you—it could be a quick 15-second pause or, for some adventurous couples, a game played out over an entire day.

Step 4: Repeat and Experiment

You can cycle through this process as many times as you like. There is no magic number; simply not finishing on the first try qualifies as edging.

To make it more interesting, try getting a little closer to the edge each time. Dr. O'Reilly suggests using a 1-to-10 scale:

• Round 1: Go up to a 7, then back down to a 3.
• Round 2: Go up to an 8, then down to a 4.
• Round 3: Go up to a 9, then down to a 5.

By the time you finally give yourself permission to reach that 10, the resulting orgasm can be mind-blowing. 🤯

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Conclusion

Edging is a powerful way to transform a routine sexual encounter into a highly anticipated event. By prioritizing the journey over the destination, you can unlock new levels of sensation and intimacy. Whether practiced alone to learn your body's rhythms or with a partner to build trust and heat, taking your time truly pays off in the end. Remember to communicate openly, respect boundaries, and enjoy the climb